Love

I think it's interesting how often people will tell each other "I love you." I find that the newer generations throw this word around as if it's nothing. Teenagers or people closer to my age group will date someone for a couple of days and start dropping the L-bomb around like it means absolutely nothing. How can you claim to love someone after having been with them for about 36 hours? (for example) I find it disgusting that these people claim to "love" their significant other before not really knowing anything about them to make a fair judgement.

I guess I shouldn't be judging too hard though. I've dated six guys and have told four of them that I love them. Three out of the four were told this within one month of dating them and one of my ex's I never even loved. I thought I did or at least convinced myself of that. But then again, I never really wanted to date him in the first place. I did it for his benefit. The first boy I ever told I loved was boyfriend # 2. With this one I at least waited a couple of months before saying it and knew I was sure of this decision. Saying "I love you" isn't something you can really take back so you need to be careful about throwing it around. It can get you into trouble if you're not careful. Even if you make sure that you really love the person before saying it, those three words can still get into you a lot of trouble. They definitely did for me. When I broke up with #2, he was heart broken. That took place at the end of June in 2009. I have not spoken to him recently but I believe that to this day he is still in love with me. And he likes to make this fact very well known. He never missed an opportunity to tell me so or how much he missed me. With the other three boys I have said the L-bomb too, I was a little less careful about it. In my experience, however, it didn't matter much when you said it. The result would turn out the same. Nobody being able to get over you. =P Two of the three other boys I did love when I said it. You'd be surprised how quickly one will fall in love again when they've had prior experience in the area. It's a pretty addictive feeling. With my current boyfriend, we said I love you to each other within one week of dating. This is very extreme especially for someone my age I feel but it's kinda been a special case. With him, it was love at first sight. I knew on our first date (also the first time I had ever met him in my life being as we were set up) that this was a boy that I could spend the rest of my life with. I still plan on doing just that. This is actually something I've never told my current boyfriend. Hopefully you guys won't reveal my secret either.

It's Funny How...

I think it's kinda funny how this entire summer i've been scared out of my mind. I've been afraid that my evil ex-boyfriend is going to come find me somewhere on this massive college campus and kill me. I know this seems a little....ok, a lot, extreme and it is. But when the nightmares come to get you in the middle of the night, you can't exactly tell them "You're not very realistic so please go away." If it did work like that, my nights would've been a lot more relaxing and filled with a lot more sleep. Social media networks have now made me realize that I have nothing to fear anymore. People post their entire lives on these things so it's becoming a lot easier to "stalk" people and find out about them and how life is treating them. Going onto ex #5's profile, I have discovered many things. The first and most obvious one that doesn't take much thought is that he is still single. Not that this matters much (I'm completely and totally over him) but it's nice to know. The second thing is that the upkeep on his profile isn't what it used to be. He posts stupid links to others pages and answers a comment here and there but no more status updates. The third and most important thing is that he's not as happy as I am. This boy is alone with his friends and nobody else. I doubt he's even gotten laid since me and that was May 30th to be exact. (what can I say? I'm good with dates) I've him once and only once on campus which means he's probably avoiding me because I feel I would've noticed him since then.  I say let him be miserable. Let him not be over me at all. I want him to suffer. Let him suffer the way i've been suffering for the past 4 months and see how he likes it. Me, i'm as happy as a pig in shit. Might not be the best simile, but I can't think of anything better at the current moment. I am over him and am moving forward in my life and in my career. I'm as busy as I possibly can be and i'm going to make something of myself one day. I also have a boyfriend whom i'm madly in love with and can see myself spending the rest of my life with. I do hope he feels the same. I know i've said this about other boys in the past, but this time seems different. Yea, i've said that too, but this time really does. The boy that calls you "perfect" is the one you should stay with, right? We shall most certainly find out.